marriage with a dog and a cat

this week, i've really been running into a problem... i feel that i'm not getting the affection that i need. i don't feel completely loved. it's really causing Chase and me to get into alot of fights. i can't say that it's anything that i've been doing or not been doing, but i feel like Chase is really stepping away from me. i honestly don't know what to do.

Chase keeps asking me what he needs to do when i get my feelings hurt... and i keep telling him the same thing... it's the way that you say things. the right or wrong choice of words is everything. "i wanna be alone right now" or "i need a little bit of time to myself to sort out some things." 

so, right now, i'm trying to keep my distance from Chase in a one bedroom apartment... it's kinda difficult. 

I need affection like a dog. Chase needs affection like a cat. one scratch on the belly just isn't enough. makes me hungry for more, like my affection meter is never on 'F.' the occasional scratch behind the ear is really nice, but i miss it alot. i feel like i have to practically beg for his appreciation. Chase: he's way independent and doesn't need affection like i do. he is like, "okay, you scratched my head for 2 minutes. that's enough for this month."

sorry about the cat and dog analogy... but it's the only way that i know how to describe us. i try to give and give, but somehow, the efforts never yield a good harvest. lately, it's completely lacking.

marriage is hard.

loving or advocating?

On Twitter, I follow a lady who has a heart as pure as gold. She is also an activist for gay rights. She has pictures of herself with her church members marching in Gay Pride parades. Let me begin by saying that I am in no way, shape, or form homophobic. I am, however, struggling with the idea that churches are getting involved with gay rights and gay pride. I was so confused, or troubled by that idea that I opened my Bible and began searching for what the Bible says about homosexuality. In Leviticus 18:22, it states that it's a sin. Homosexuality is a sin. "Don't practice homosexuality, ...it is a detestable sin."

Okay... so I thought maybe they were loving the people, but "not really" supporting the act of homosexuality... No... it can't be. The Bible tells us to be in the world, but not "of" the world. We reference Romans 12:2 which says, "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person, by changing the way you think..." Let's also look at John 15:19 and see what that says.The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you."

Essentially, let's take John 15:19 and Romans 12:2 and combine them and see what it says. We'd get something like this:  you don't belong to the world anymore; I AM chose you, therefore, you mustn't copy the behavior of the world: let God transform you into a new being.

Needless to say, I still have a problem with churches taking part in gay rights and gay pride parades... I again am saying that I don't have a problem with the people, it's just that homosexuality is a sin, like stealling, or cheating on your husband...

Another approach would be to say how do we as the church, as the body of Christ, love people who are in sin without  promoting, advocating, or being comfortable with their sin? Not just homosexuality, but with any sin?

 It hurts me to see someone trying to fill an emptiness that only God can fill.

I pray that you understand what goes on  in my head. It really is a battle. Until I fully understand this, God, please fill my heart, soul, and mind with peace that exceeds my understanding. Let love overflow for Your children, all of Your children. Help me to see them the way that You see them.

no intro needed

I'm 27 years and one day old. I'm very blessed to have married my best friend. He isn't perfect, as I'm not perfect, but we're perfect for each other. Although I believe someone can have more than one soul mate, Chase is the one I chose to be with. That means that I forsake all others and cling to him. He is such an amazing man. I couldn't have chosen anyone better for me than him. He's helping me become who I've always been, but was too afraid to admit.

So, informatively, I have dreadlocks, which I will write about at a later time. I have facial piercings (I got another one this past Saturday), and one tattoo (I'm thinking about my second one now). I've been learning lately not to put people into a mold or a stereotype. I, for one, am trying to break them. Christians shouldn't look one way... They shouldn't all be nice hair and clean faced. And I'm sure that they glorify God with their pretty hair and their nice clothes, and their makeup. I glorify God with my appearance in a quite different way. I grew my dreadlocks to bring Glory to God. and I'm getting piercings and tattoos to glorify God.

Anyway, enough about me... I'll have plenty of time to talk about that later. I just wanted to write a little bit of what's on my mind. :)

Cheers.